At the beginning of the show, Artie Lange talked about being tired form doing a charity gig last night for a comedian who has cancer but no health insurance. Artie said that performers have to make $8,000 for SAG to provide benefits, and only 5% of the members make that.

Howard Stern brought up how Artie is getting cranky over going to Jason Kaplan's bachelor party in Amsterdam. Artie said that he doesn't really want to hang out with the younger guys and do pot. He felt that he's doing a different kind of trip by taking a first-class flight, staying in a 5-star hotel, and he really wants to sight see.

Sal Governale talked about his uncle joking about an Aunt Jemima statue put in place of the Statue of Liberty if Barak Obama gets elected.

Howard played a voice mail from Richard Christy's father who left him a message about the Kansas game. Howard said that his father never calls him. He talked about how his dad put him through college, though, and gave him an allowance of $100 per month.

Howard played an Evil Dave word game where Dave had to read certain words. The player guessed whether Dave would be able to pronounce them. The player won.

Eric The Midget called in. The guys said that they thought Eric picked his nose on camera and scratched his armpits and smelled his fingers. He denied it.

A caller said that he lost his wife to cancer recently after having lost his first wife to cancer, too. He called to say that she was a big fan.

Howard played clips of George Takei singing "On the Road Again" on "Secret Talents of the Stars" and getting judged and subsequently kicked off.

Howard did an impression of his parents, Ben and Ray Stern, talking about having sex and Ray's big bush.

Joan Rivers came in. Howard talked about her age of 74, and she said that she doesn't want to be alive if she can't perform. She talked about her friendship with Prince Charles and Camilla, and how great they are. She promoted her standup on Wednesdays and QVC.

Howard complained about a girl's huge tattoo on American Idol.

Howard played clips of Riley Martin's last show because the contract negotiations were not successful. It was later determined that he has one show left, and Riley and Tim Sabean agreed that he'd do it.

Artie fell asleep and Howard told him to go to the bed. He slept for practically the rest of the show despite falling out of bed. Howard kept a microphone on his snoring. When he finally got up, Howard said that he can't do gigs during the week anymore. Artie requested a coffee, macchiato, and Hawaiian Punch when he got up. Several callers said that Artie needs to stop and everyone should intervene.

Steve Langford reported that he was investigating the Kenneth Keith Kallenbach case yesterday.

Robin Quivers said that Adam Carolla was voted off Dancing with the Stars. Howard said if he were on, his fans wouldn't vote him off.