The Stern Show is on vacation this week. This is the last live show. Today's eventful show began with Howard Stern discussing how he doesn't like "American Idol" asking for money on "Idol Gives Back." He said that they are making tons of money and shouldn't be asking fans to donate. He was upset with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal doing it. He also noted how sexual Miley Cyrus is and she's only 15.

Howard brought up the Howard TV Bowling Beauties special and told Scott Salem not to get sexual with the girls. He mentioned Jim Florentine hosting it, but he accidentally called him Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said that the trophy is enormous. He mentioned that he only won one trophy in his life for writing a paper on fire prevention.

Howard talked about Beth Ostrosky and how she doesn't really let him see her naked.

Artie Lange said that he went to sleep at 12:30 yesterday afternoon and slept until he had to get up for work this morning. He only got up once to pee. Howard brought up that a lot of people thought Artie sleeping on the air yesterday was funny, including Beth's brothers. Artie said that he was looking forward to going to Amsterdam after the show.

Artie talked about hot chicks and how they are good at accessorizing. Artie said that he let Dana buy two pair of $800 shoes once because he wanted to get out of the store.

Howard played some clips of Howard K Stern getting interviewed and being compared to . He said it's like a brother he can't get rid of.

Howard brought up the discussion of what everyone would do if Howard retires in 2 1/2 years. Artie said he'd probably have to go on the road. Robin said she'd consider a show herself, but she doesn't want to work in the morning. Artie said if Howard signed on for afternoons, he'd stay forever. Howard thought the audience wants a morning show, though.

The gang got into a little dance competition when Howard started talking about Madonna. Pretty much everyone demonstrated their dancing abilities besides Robin and Fred Norris. JD Harmeyer showed off what he does in clubs, Howard danced, and Artie and Lisa G danced together.

Lisa talked to Jillian Barbarie about Howard's claims that she threw herself at him. She said that it didn't happen that way.

Lisa said that she talked to Jesse Bradford. He hung out with JD in Los Angeles, but he couldn't get him laid.

Eric The Midget called in but didn't have much to say so Howard hung up. Eric called back and said he didn't appreciate it.

Bobo called in to play a Gary The Retard singing game. He won the $500 by identifying a song Gary was singing.

Howard called Artie and Teddy into the studio after he heard they were fighting in the hall. Artie was complaining about Teddy's shortcomings when it comes to being his assistant. For instance, he didn't copy Artie's passport when he should have and had to bother Artie for it again. Artie was yelling at Teddy and called him a faggot. He gave an example of what a "fag" Teddy is for referring to Bloomingdales as "Bloomies." Artie said that Teddy has money problems and he's always giving Teddy money. They began threatening to reveal what each other makes. Artie finally said that he pays Teddy $40+ thousand. Howard suggested maybe Teddy is in over his head, but Artie said he always quits and comes back.

Artie physically went after Teddy and had to be restrained. Robin was screaming at Howard for bringing this up and said that everyone is crazy. They left the studio, but Artie came back in yelling at Howard saying that he loves having a fight on the air, and he knows how Artie is but encouraged all of this. Howard said that Artie can't be around if he's going to hurt people. Artie couldn't guarantee that this wouldn't happen again and resigned. He hugged Howard goodbye and said that he loves him.

Dominic Barbara called in and said that it sounded like someone could have gotten killed in there. Everyone felt really bad about what happened, and Benjy Bronk said that someone should be with him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Eventually they decided to call Artie's mother and sister Stacie.

Teddy came back into the studio shaken up and tried to take some of the blame. Howard said that it wasn't his fault. Teddy said that he didn't know what would happen with Amsterdam now if Artie really hates him.

Gary Dell'Abate came in and said that he was really scared of Artie because he was so full of rage. Howard didn't know what would happen with Artie's work status even he wanted to come back. He said that Tim Sabean might have to deal with it.

Director Jason Reitman came in after all the drama to promote the DVD for Juno, but Howard said he was nauseous during the whole interview. Still, they talked about how he got into movies, how he dated someone ten years older than him when he was 16, and only getting paid around $200,000 for Juno. He said that he turned down Son of the Beach because he didn't want that to be the only thing on his resume besides short films.

Howard continued to be bummed throughout the show. Mike Walker called in for the Gossip Game, and Robin did her news. Jeff The Drunk called in and said that it was a sad day.